"The Willy Loman"

THE WILLY LOMAN is a classic cell phone offender. He is usually identifiable by his strong New York accent that can be heard anywhere in the car. Do not bother wearing your ipod earbuds to drown out his voice. It won't work. Willy is distinguishable by the explicit detail he goes into about pending business deals. "Check with so-and-so to make sure we're on target at 12 cents a unit" or some such garbage. His language is colorful and peppered with profanities that he is not even aware he's using: "Make sure the fuckin' contract is written by so-and-so" because he's not going to "fuckin' re-negotiate" or "fuckin' re-litigate" or re-fuck anything for that matter. Mind you, unlike Arthur Miller's character, this Willy Loman is likely to be fairly successful. He may have grown up in East Brooklyn, but he and his lovely wife/former exotic dancer now live in Katonah in a large house identifiable by its pillars and prominent Palladian window overlooking the grand foyer. Willy couldn't care less that people are bothered by his cell phone conversation. He's going to work whenever and wherever he pleases. At a neighboring table in a restaurant you unfortunately both chose, on an otherwise quiet park bench in Madison Square Park, waiting in line at the bank, and, yes, on the Harlem line of Metro North. If you know a Willy Loman out there, you may want to take this opportunity to tell him about this blog and how he's now a "phenomenon." You know how to reach him.